One lesson I've learnt this year (so far) is that you can't always depend on your family, extended family, and friends. You've only got yourself in the end (or in most situations) so build yourself up to be more independent so that you don't end up being disappointed.
I'm starting to think I'm socially disabled. I can't seem to keep up with friends. And I can count, on one hand, the people I can depend on. This excludes my parents and grandparents and godfather, of course. Maybe my expectations are too high? Maybe I'm not busy enough to be too busy with work that I don't have time with friends? When I have the good days I always think the bad days are gone and will stay gone forever. But damn, they come back. And I hate the bad days because I hate how they make me feel.
I wish I had just a little bit of the energy/spirit/views like Christopher McCandless (a.k.a. Alexander Supertramp) had. He is the most determined person I have encountered, even if just through a movie. His views, idealistic - which is how the boy says I am. I could relate to him but he was way too idealistic for me. But he was so strong, he just kept going. With his books, his favorite authors guiding him. So inspiring. I was just blown away. I could never do what he did, never. I hope there are more people like him out there.
Listen to Long Nights by Eddie Vedder. I need to get my hands on the soundtrack.
peace&love
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