blow your candles, all 21 of them

this is a tribute to my cousin Jolynn on her 21st Birthday (i'm a day late actually)

Jolynn, oh gosh, where do i start?? she's just the most amazing cousin anyone can ever wish to have, and i am so blessed to have her in my life, without knowing and thinking much about it.
She's the kind of person who will try her best to be there for you when she can.
And she has been there for me, oh countless times..
Wherever she is in the world, she would make you feel as if she's right there beside you (thanks to the genius of the internet, and of course Alexander Graham Bell)
But i would still miss her when she's not around
21 already, she is definitely matured beyond her age..sometimes i feel like she's the older sister i never had (LOL i'm that immature..)
I don't know what else to say, she's so many things and more than anyone can ask for in a daughter, sister, cousin, and friend
She's beautiful inside and out and i'm very proud and lucky (again) to have her as my cousin
Jolynn darling, happy 21st birthday ! You're officially an adult! [even though you have been acting like one for a long time now ;) ]
I love you Jolynn!
Hope you had an awesome 21st party in Melbourne :)
hugs and kisses XOXO

words, words, words

what if i'm too upset to say anything about it?
best way to deal : time
right now that's what i need
yes, we have to voice out our thoughts (except, of course, the really personal stuff)
but...what if i'm too upset/ experiencing a maelstrom of emotions that i can't say anything? and maybe don't want to?
ughh can't think

Pagi yang Gelap.. (how original can i get ?)

yeah, I'm in the middle ( ok, start, but middle sounds better) of my assignment (everybody say yayy-eahh) and it's 2 in the morn and it's kinda sorta raining...and I spotted a medium-sized cockroach in my room!!! damn!!! I LOATHE cockroaches!!! God!! ohhhhh....in my room???! it's THAT dirty???? really?? damn...but i try really..to keep it clean...anyway I murdered it in cold blood... with my bare hands, oh yes, not with Shieldtox... :) i forgot to take a picture though...but hell, if it was a big one, shit, no Shieldtox would be super bad news...in case you haven't noticed, there are shitloads of online boutiques...in Malaysia alone...probably based in kl mostly....damn...it's a good thing though reasonable prices for dresses and stuff....right, I gots to get back to my work then off to bed :)
thank you guys again for visiting my blog :) im so happieeeee, plus I finally started working on my assignment = blisssssss :) till next time, then.
bangbang

Fantasia in the Real World

Right now, I should be working on my assignment....due in less than 2 weeks..oh yes...joy. Anyways, this morning I woke up considerably early and got to uni by 7.45am :) and by 8, it was raining like nobody's business! gawd, thunder, lightning...I was like what the blop! so then I thanked God for making my Tuesdays early so I didn't get stuck in the rain, which was a super close call..

Later in the evening after getting back from uni, I decided to sleep for awhile (yes, I'm fat and lazy and in dire need of exercise) and I ended up sleeping for 2 hours plus (!!!!)...and when I woke up I was dazed cos my housemate was also sleeping (haha) so the house was in total darkness...and here I am, thinking it's already Wednesday morning...OMG I was walking around, thinking about what to do..(go to bathroom, wash up, get ready to go to uni)..i'm looking out my window checking for a morning scene...then I check my phone for the time (I don't have a watch, but thank God my phone clock is set in 24hours system) and i see 1940 hours...but funnily still, I'm thinking it's morning, help me..then after a while I settle down, switch on the lights and got a bit more orientated. AAAAHHHH...it was kinda scary...I don't remember if I was dreaming...but frankly, I hate that feeling, where you don't know whether it's night or day, after you've woken up...sucks. ah well, I'm off to get started on my assignment now..nationalism in the music of Vaughan Williams (bless me)

before it's too late

just recently, my aunt told me that my dad really loves me. and i was like what? "yes, he said that you are everything to him or something to that effect.."
whoa...he never says or does anything to convey even a tiny inkling of that statement, though.
i just feel that we should always show the people we love how and what we feel. tell them how we feel. tell anyone how we feel about anything, that they annoy us with their incessant questions, how it's so wonderful that they never fail to make breakfast for us, anything.
Ah, but yes, it is definitely hard to do all these things. We are only human. Some of us with lots ego. all i can say is that we should try to do these things any which way we feel we can.
oh i watched the movie 'The Reader' starring Kate Winslet and Ralph Fiennes. the woman would rather go to jail for a crime she didn't commit just so that noone will know she can't read and write.
it was really sad.
one more thing i can't stand, that i had to live through this past weekend..."your dress is really nice! you look really good, very nice! i like it!!" imagine hearing that being said to almost every single person (in my case, girls/women) Oh My God. is it just me or has that become like a basic manners thing? or even a whole conversation topic!? damn, just be true to yourself is what i think. if you really like it, ok go ahead compliment the person. but not because you feel you can be seen in a nicer 'light' or because u just want to fit in, want to sound like the others, want to sound 'normal'. what about this: "...(talking about something.....), by the way your dress is really nice. i like this pattern over here...." this compliment being said after numerous people have already mentioned it. oh one more way to hear these compliments....make a 'grand'(late) entrance and everybody will be looking at you and then someone will be like 'nice dress' and then comes the echoes of that.....it's like subconsciously they believe you REALLY do look good cos u were taking so long to get ready and pretty, or something...i don't know...i do know that i need to get out of Malaysia as soon as i can.
anyways, i can't wait for this semester to END, but there are so so so many things to be done before it's over! choir concert, CME exam, piano exam, term paper due, exam, working hours...ughhhh.....

oh how we've grown

yet again, i do the same thing - that is when i start something like a blog - i ignore it for a long time and get back to it saying sorry and how busy i was, causing me no time to write here.
anyways, i think i was just lazy..to switch the computer on, go online, write. i should remember to bring with me wherever i go a small notebook or diary cos i need to record there and then what i've experienced, thought about, saw, felt...and only then will i be itching to go online to write here.
ok, so what's happened over the course of time that i didn't check in here? a few things...
1. i got into a bit of an accident.on the road (highway to be exact) as i was driving back to cheras from seremban. it's quite funny and too rare to happen all the time to anyone, that is. a car from the opposite direction, hence opposite side of the highway, lost control or whatever then hit the irondivider. and i happen to be there to see the car in the air, while a piece of that divider breaks off, flying towards my car. thank God though it didnt hit my windscreen, it went under my car, i'm so lucky. so there.

2. my great grandmother passed away. rest her soul. she was...90 something i can't remember. but mind you, she didnt look her age at all. she died pecefully so thats good. she was healthy as well. and i'm grateful to have met her about 5 years ago. before that i was too small to remember meeting her so it was good that i got a chance to see her because i didn't - and won't- get to anymore.

3. what else...my cousin just got married. that was nice.

that's about it...i really need to find a way to earn some money man...my cousin jolynn's 21st birthday is coming up and i don't know what to do. buy a present or make something or...i don't think any present from me would be good enough cos she's those people who have everything (yes, her parents are rich) so it wouldn't mean anything to her, and i want it to mean something...also, my boyfriend's birthday's coming up...still not sure what to do for him as well... hmmm