Dead end

I just discovered alt-J's music today. Thank God I bought Laneway tickets for next year already. (Sshhh I haven't told the boy yet.)

I was browsing the internet yesterday, loads of crafty stuff and pretty flowers and photos and videos of event organizing. It made me feel very small (what doesn't, these days..) and it made me rethink about what I want to do - ultimately - with my life, aside from spending it with my future husband. I realize I have to work, to have a steady (or not) income every month. That is the only way I can afford to buy the things I love, buy concert tickets, buy some nice clothes, nice stuff for the home. I couldn't afford a ticket for Laneway this year because I wasn't working, just teaching part time once a week, which was just enough to pay rent and buy food.

I really want to work with paper, print, anything. I'm considering going into event planning. Or just event decorating, if that's a thing. I want to be able to have free time, not just on weekends. I need to figure my shit out. Again.

Well, I just wanted to mention how this song really demonstrates how I feel now. Mellow but restless. I'm very restless and I can't do anything. Yet. 

Here I go again. On and on about how everything is not right.

I am getting married in a month (!!) and this is what I can think about now. You know how they say 'just relax before the wedding, everything will be fine'? Don't believe them. But if you realize that you can, by all means please lay low and rest up, think of nothing but lazing all day.

They gave Obama a second chance. I guess I should give myself a second chance too. Let's see how this goes.

peace+love