Thursday, May 19, 2011

thoughts thoughts thoughts

(Okay, the word looks really weird after looking at it more than once)
This was what I just thought about.
I was just thinking about how I wanted to learn a new language. Actually more than one.
Mandarin and French. Both very very important for myself.
Then I thought about how I have no money to spare for classes. Because I don't want to rely on my parents.
I want to earn my own money. But I don't know (or haven't decided) what I want to do to earn some.
Then I'm dreaming about travelling, backpacking even. And then I think about how that requires a pretty little mountain of money. Which I don't have.
And then, I think somewhere in my head I made up this stupid excuse about how lack of money can ruin people. I didn't realize that there was the option of changing that fact.
Don't worry, now I know that I can overcome having no money. By actually working. gaddamit.
Because I can't work while studying. Because I know I won't be able to handle it while pushing myself to practice everyday.
It's already hard now. With nothing else but piano and it's still hard.
Because I'm a natural-born slacker. (I believe)
So many people call themselves slackers. But they're all working somehow.
I really wish I decide what to do soon.
I also wish I'll be ready for my graduation recital in August. 15th. (Bless me)
At this point, I wish I had to do a thesis or a project or anything else. It sounds way better than having to perform in front a bunch of people. Perform a lot. (Yes, so performing is out of the picture as my future career choice)
Anyway.

peace+love

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